A Lasting Love: A Glimpse of Hope in the Darkness

A Lasting Love: A Glimpse of Hope in the Darkness

It was a tiring day. The room was dark, the lights were off. There was a wooden table with a chair. On the table, a book lay open, its cover facing up titled ‘I Wish…’. A small lamp cast a dim yellow glow around it. The windows were slightly open, letting in the cold breeze that carried the sweet smell of that night. The moon was bright tonight, its soft light coming through the window, adding a gentle silver calm light to the room.

He sat on the chair and took out his diary, just as he did every night. And slowly, he began to write:

Remembering the Days

Now only 3 days are left, but I am amazed he acts like he doesn’t care. Deeply, he also cares... he doesn’t want to leave us... He was so into those long stories and discussions that he became so lost in the conversations, even when he spoke to strangers as if he knew them and made them laugh. As I was walking, the air was cold, the sky was grey, as if the night was silently mourning along with me.

When I reached the hospital, I almost turned back. I remained outside the room for what felt like forever, just staring at the door. The hallway smelled of antiseptic and the walls were painted a strange light shade of blue with white borders – supposed to be calm, but it wasn’t. Nothing felt calm. Everything felt wrong. I didn’t want to open that door and see him like that. But I did.

He was lying there so still, like he had already left... but his body hadn’t realized it yet. Machines beeped softly around him, the only sounds breaking the silence after the clock’s tick-tick. I wanted to talk to him, but the words wouldn’t come. What do you say when you know it might be the last time? What do you say when you’re trying to hold on to someone who’s already slipping away in the hands of time?

I sat there, holding his hand, waiting for a miracle that I knew wasn’t coming. And then, something unexpected happened. He opened his eyes, just for a moment. They looked at me for the first time in weeks, clear and crystal clear, with no pain, no confusion, just clarity. He smiled weakly, and it was the saddest smile I had ever seen from someone like him – like he was saying goodbye without saying the exact words.

He whispered, “Mere liye kesar halwa nahi laye,” and while saying this, he smiled. A drop of tear rolled down from his left eye as if he understood what was happening. I wiped his tear, and I felt that it was warm. At that moment, I wanted to scream, scream very loudly, to tell him it wasn’t okay; but I couldn’t. I just sat there, silent, trying to memorize every line on his face, every word, every breath. I don’t even know how long I stayed there after he closed his eyes again, but when I finally left, it felt like I was leaving a piece of myself behind in that room.

The Moon and the Memories

Tonight, the moon is shining, and it’s beautiful. But it hurts to look at it, knowing he won’t be here to see it again, knowing that tomorrow, I’ll have to face a world without him, and I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to...

Writing and Reflection

He closed the diary, keeping his pen inside it, and picked up the book. He read a line from it, which was from a character in the book:

I am afraid… afraid of losing you… afraid of what if you leave me… and I will not miss you… because I don’t want to remember you… to make me cry again… but I can’t stop myself from remembering you… I am afraid… afraid… of losing you…

He closed the book and looked out at the window, at an empty sky, only with the moon and his light.

Maatrishya!