Do Autistic People Ever Think Someone is Being Mean Towards Them When They Aren't?

Introduction to Autism and Social Cues

Autism can make it challenging for individuals to interpret social cues effectively. This difficulty often leads to misunderstandings and can make it hard to tell if someone is genuinely friendly or if they are merely pretending to be kind. Bullies frequently take advantage of this, using pretenses to deceive and torment autistic children. As a result, it can be difficult for autistic individuals to trust people or understand whether they are being truly mean or not.

My Personal Experience

When I was a child, other kids were mean to me almost all the time. Over time, I grew accustomed to being hated, to the extent that even now, I expect people to dislike me. This makes differentiating between someone who genuinely likes me and someone who is pretending to be kind extremely difficult. I find myself questioning why people say they like me or worrying that they are just being nice to be polite or to silence me. Trust has become a rare commodity, as I often assume the worst about people's intentions.

Behaviors and Verbal Cues

The behavior of a particular person in my life stands out as a prime example. When he interacts with others, he appears relaxed and friendly. However, when he is around me, his demeanor changes; there's a visible anger and frustration that comes over him, even if I haven’t done anything to provoke it. This person also engages in pointless arguments with me, despite my having more knowledge on the subjects at hand. In some cases, he argues to be subversive, often discussing topics he knows nothing about just to "win" the argument. This persistent behavior has fueled my mistrust of people and their motives.

Interpreting Figurative Thinking

Neurotypicals' figurative thinking can be variable and even distorted, which offers a wealth of metaphors that can help me understand their intentions. Over time, I've noticed that their figurative realities change, which I can track and analyze. This ability to keep up with their changing perspectives and fixations can help me predict their behavior, making it easier to defend myself or steer clear of conflicts. However, some surprises do occur, and these are usually a welcome relief.

Knowledge and Its Unpredictable Nature

There are instances where the knowledge needed to defend myself or understand a situation comes to me unexpectedly, almost as if the universe were telling me. For example, I recently learned about the term 'Karen' (a pejorative term for dominant, contentious women) and quickly became an expert on its usage. I used this knowledge to resolve an argument on a Facebook discussion, where others were attacking me for supporting an anti-exploitation article about the sexualization of prepubescent boys by their parents. My impact was clear, and it taught me that sometimes, the universe sends knowledge to us at precisely the right moment.

Conclusion: Trust and Resilience

While it is true that many people can be mean in their actions or words, it is not their fault. It is important not to take such behavior personally. Instead, stay true to yourself and remain honest. As an autistic individual, your directness can be a powerful tool. When you are patient, you will find the right metaphor or defense to protect yourself. Information and knowledge seem to have a will of their own, and their power to influence and defend cannot be underestimated.