Sustaining Your Child When They’re Held Back a Grade

Academy challenges can be particularly challenging for children who are held back a grade. As a parent, it's crucial to approach the situation with empathy and a supportive mindset. Here are some strategies to help guide your conversation and provide ongoing support.

Acknowledge Their Feelings

Begin by recognizing how your child might be feeling. Validation is key during this time. You can start by saying, 'I know this is disappointing, and it's okay to feel upset about it.'

Encourage Open Communication

Encourage your child to share their thoughts and feelings. Ask questions like, 'What are you thinking about this?' or 'How do you feel about being in a different grade?' This openness can help them express their emotions and reduce any sense of isolation.

Reassure Them

Let them know that many kids experience similar challenges. Assure them, 'This doesn't mean you're not smart or capable. It's just a chance to get stronger in some areas.'

Focus on Growth

Emphasize that this is an opportunity for growth. Say, 'This year can help you build skills that will make you even more successful in the future.' This mindset helps shift their perspective from frustration to opportunity.

Discuss Goals

Talk about what they can work on this year. Ask them, 'What do you want to achieve this year?' and help them set realistic goals. This will give them a clear direction and something to work towards.

Offer Support

Let them know you're there to help. Say, 'I'm here for you. We can work together on anything you find challenging.' This reinforces the importance of parental support and shows that you're committed to their success.

Highlight Positives

Point out the positives of being in a familiar environment with friends and teachers who can help them succeed. Remind them that being held back can also mean they have more time to bond with classmates and teachers.

Encourage Perseverance

Remind them that everyone has different learning paths and that perseverance is important. Say, 'What matters is that you keep trying and learning.' This builds their resilience and instills a growth mindset.

Private Conversation

Sit down and talk with them in a private setting. Make sure they understand that there is nothing wrong with them and that being held back is not a bad thing. Explain, 'Sometimes it takes longer to learn things, especially during a hard year with the pandemic.'

Offer Academic Support

Work on homework together and show them how to do the problems. Then, work with them on time-management skills and help them set up an organization system for schoolwork, sports commitments, or extracurricular activities.

Understanding and Flexibility

Remember that some people take more than a year to finish a grade. It's not the end of the world unless you freak out and make it all about you and your ego. Focus on making school a positive place for them, and your child will thrive.